By: Gina Guy-WARren
I am sure we‘ve all said, or heard someone say, “He has a bad temper“ or “I just don’t like her personality.”
Over the years I know I have been guilty of making these statements about others, and even recently I’ve heard how some of my brothers and sisters in the faith really don’t like my personality. My husband’s quick reply full of wisdom is, “ Well, maybe it’s time for a different personality because so far, how has this worked for the church? They didn’t like President Trump’s personality, but he got the job done and woke up the people to what is fake and corrupt.” Brian goes on to say, “if people weren’t looking through the eyes of jealousy, maybe they would receive what she is teaching?” I love how my husband always comes to my defense, but I suppose the man really has a deep understanding of why my God given personality is what it is! It’s my hope that through this teaching on the difference between personality and temperaments, it might help all of us both accept and love those whose God sends our way on this journey called life. Remember, we were created for fellowship. First and foremost, we were created to fellowship with HIm.
Isaiah 43:7, “Everyone who is called by my name, and whose I created for My glory, Whom I have formed, even whom I have made.”
1 Corinthians 1:9, “ For God is faithful through whom you were Called into fellowship with HIs Son Christ Jesus.” Instead of taking offense to these judgments on my personality, I recalled much of what I’ve learned and still incorporate when counseling the church or facilitating meetings between disgruntled brothers and sisters to help them better understand each other’s giftings and use them to build each other up, not compete and tear each other down.
Our number one best friend, confidant and the one whom we glean our wisdom from should first come from fellowship with Jesus Christ. His Holy Spirit was given to us in order that we may rightly divide truth. He is our number one Counselor, teacher and convicts us of our own sin. Jesus Himself clearly states the Holy Spirit will bring glory to Jesus by taking from what is His by making it known to us (John 16: 5-14). Having said that, I truly believe we have trouble receiving people for one of two reasons. First, fellowship with the Holy Spirit has been broken. How can we know what truths are from heaven and who belongs to the Father, when we are so busy running to videos, everyday live broadcasts from people instead of receiving intimate wisdom from spending time with the Holy Spirit? Second conclusion is that our own temperament is skewing our ability to discern between someone’s personality and their temperament. Please allow me to explain further.
There’s a distinct difference between someone’s personality and their temperament. Temperament is a person’s nature, especially as it affects their behavior. Whatever traumas, rejections and unhealed areas of that person’s life, will directly show forth in their temperament. Personality is a combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character. When I am counseling someone, I have to be able to discern the difference because of someone’s personality which is distinctive to the thumbprint of God’s creative design for their life. One’s personality is formed to be consistent with the gifts and callings on their life. Psalm 139:13-16, “ For you created my inmost being, you Knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me you were written in your book before one of them came to be.‘ We can get into the original Hebrew meaning of the specifics in this verse, but for now, I want you to understand that it’s from the womb of your mother, much of your personality began. I can recall my mother stating I was a strong-willed child as if this was a terrible thing. My first born daughter shares my personality. Through much daily prayer (might I add sometimes minute by minute prayer concerning her) I had to be careful to bend her will, not break it. Bend it towards the things of God. You see, her God given personality would be vital to her gifts and calling. Home-schooling my daughters was imperative, so the world didn’t groom them, but as a mother I did my best to train my daughters in the ways of the Lord. As a little one, she would command the playground so to speak, facilitate the next game of tag or make sure everyone was in line properly for snacks. Her playmates saw control, however, I observed leadership skills. This one is now a lawyer. Her personality could not be compared, nor should it ever be made to be like her sisters. Both personalities are distinctive to what God called them to do. Her sister is a civil engineer. Everything is drawn out in her mind and on paper, while the other draws lines outside of the box! When anyone doesn’t accept your personality, they either do not have an understanding of who or what your purpose on this earth was set for to accomplish, or they are simply jealous because they don’t grasp the importance of their own unique personality and the impact they can have on lives within their own sphere of influence. It is the responsibility of the mother to nurture her children. This is generally my starting point in counseling sessions because God formed us, but people and circumstances in life are interwoven into who we have become, thus forming our temperament.
Scripture is clear we will know each other by our fruits, Matthew 7:15, but can we be too quick to call their fruit evil when possibly at times no one has helped them with true deliverance? Maybe they are busy “bossing others around” or constantly exposing other’s faults because no one has helped them with their own? You may notice outbursts of anger, agitation, lack of self-control and so on in this modern day of “everyone has to do a facebook live”. This can be a great tool, however, it is also very telling of someone’s temperament which in turn reveals areas of much needed deliverance. I have much to teach on this subject because this is why deliverance hasn’t “worked” for the most part within the man made church structure. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by our creator, and due to mystic doctrines and lack of spiritual insight when counseling the church, we can be party to “searing one’s conscience” when they don’t receive understanding concerning why they react they way they do. Again, this teaching only touches on these subjects, but it’s my prayer that we all learn to accept each other’s God given personalities and with a spirit of unity move forward to accomplish one goal. Help bring the church into fellowship with the only one and true God. Our Lord and savior Jesus Christ who will convict us all of our own faults, and raise us up with our own distinctive God given gifts and personalities to brightly reflect His Image